July 11 minutes, take 1: night of cats & beetles
because Steve Ross wasn't there, the order of the universe was completely off kilter. first, no one wrote anything. not even me. but I did cook a lot of weird food combinations. second, it was really hot. and still, no family swim center. but on to the minutes, which relate not at all to pursuits of the literary type.
SLS speaks on what she looks for in a man: someone who is not too needy, someone who treats her like her cat does: who gives her space but does not smother, except in the boudoir. (that sounds sinister, here is the direct quote) "who can be independent but later in bed who will lick my armpit and my face in my Queen Helene mask." Sally rebutted, "what if you man is a cat like pom-pom, who always wants to lay on your lap while sitting down?" and then she said, "be careful what you wish for." (this whole lying about on laps reminds me of the photos I saw yesterday while I was at the oral surgeon's waiting for jc, and there were these pictures of all nicole richie & parie hilton laying on their men's laps. gross. so, they are cats like pom pom). I burped loudly and sally said, "which one of you was that?"
Sally wore a church of elvis shirt to school and related that one child wanted to know who the guy on it was, and thought he was an indian. siri concluded (with my help locating the word "lexicon" that, "he's not part of the cultural lexicon anymore," and spent a moment saddened by the idea. sally said the kids are young, they also have trouble identifying celebrities like paris hilton and nicole richie. (okay, I made up that last part).
Luther Vandross=Sysyphus. (I never studied the greco-romans, have no idea what this means) (but serves as further proof that without steve ross we become celebrity obsessed. There is one piece of bruchetta left, and sls says, "we could go put it on Luther's Grave," because I had earlier mentioned he resided in old greenwich connecticut.
Here in the minutes I sort of lose track of what's happening:
sarah on the end of late night rendevous, "I better stop drinking the wine, I don't need the courage tonight." (I think somewhere in here we got into a lesbian/bisexual conversation as it relates to the household decorationg) SLS on the chicks at smith who liked her, "straight girls dig me because I look like Brendan Frasier."
Sally on the suggested sufjan stevens poster in the living room. "I'll move my bed in there. Hey baby, it's bedtime."
SLS back on the subject of what she needs in a man: 1. talented (like, as talented as sufjan)2. good teeth 3. older> specifically a decade older at least 4. insensitive to everyone's feelings: including himself 5. not an addict 6. did she already mention talented? yes, she did. 7. sex is great, "really good in bed." 8. good with the pleasure principal 9. confident 10. not fat.
A tall order.
Then we went to visit steve h's new cat, bamba, who is 13 weeks old and looks like miss cat might have, were she light orange and a kitten. on the way, I found a nice dish in bulk trash and put it in sally's bike basket. we went by solo statement and lamented the great cat, rio, who lives there and is so great and lonely. sls contemplates a thievery of sorts. "is that illegal stealing a cat?" "yes," I say, "that's catnapping!"
After chilling with bamba we meet a nice cat named zipper and a huge beetle named leon who zipper tried to attack. then we transported leon away from zipper on the plate discussed earlier. sarah "stupid japanese beetles, I'm a racist!"
beverly, "yeah, they need to be killed." leon, I might add, was not japanese as far as we know. he was quite handsome. then we ate some flavor ice and I went home to play scrabble. greyskull.
SLS speaks on what she looks for in a man: someone who is not too needy, someone who treats her like her cat does: who gives her space but does not smother, except in the boudoir. (that sounds sinister, here is the direct quote) "who can be independent but later in bed who will lick my armpit and my face in my Queen Helene mask." Sally rebutted, "what if you man is a cat like pom-pom, who always wants to lay on your lap while sitting down?" and then she said, "be careful what you wish for." (this whole lying about on laps reminds me of the photos I saw yesterday while I was at the oral surgeon's waiting for jc, and there were these pictures of all nicole richie & parie hilton laying on their men's laps. gross. so, they are cats like pom pom). I burped loudly and sally said, "which one of you was that?"
Sally wore a church of elvis shirt to school and related that one child wanted to know who the guy on it was, and thought he was an indian. siri concluded (with my help locating the word "lexicon" that, "he's not part of the cultural lexicon anymore," and spent a moment saddened by the idea. sally said the kids are young, they also have trouble identifying celebrities like paris hilton and nicole richie. (okay, I made up that last part).
Luther Vandross=Sysyphus. (I never studied the greco-romans, have no idea what this means) (but serves as further proof that without steve ross we become celebrity obsessed. There is one piece of bruchetta left, and sls says, "we could go put it on Luther's Grave," because I had earlier mentioned he resided in old greenwich connecticut.
Here in the minutes I sort of lose track of what's happening:
sarah on the end of late night rendevous, "I better stop drinking the wine, I don't need the courage tonight." (I think somewhere in here we got into a lesbian/bisexual conversation as it relates to the household decorationg) SLS on the chicks at smith who liked her, "straight girls dig me because I look like Brendan Frasier."
Sally on the suggested sufjan stevens poster in the living room. "I'll move my bed in there. Hey baby, it's bedtime."
SLS back on the subject of what she needs in a man: 1. talented (like, as talented as sufjan)2. good teeth 3. older> specifically a decade older at least 4. insensitive to everyone's feelings: including himself 5. not an addict 6. did she already mention talented? yes, she did. 7. sex is great, "really good in bed." 8. good with the pleasure principal 9. confident 10. not fat.
A tall order.
Then we went to visit steve h's new cat, bamba, who is 13 weeks old and looks like miss cat might have, were she light orange and a kitten. on the way, I found a nice dish in bulk trash and put it in sally's bike basket. we went by solo statement and lamented the great cat, rio, who lives there and is so great and lonely. sls contemplates a thievery of sorts. "is that illegal stealing a cat?" "yes," I say, "that's catnapping!"
After chilling with bamba we meet a nice cat named zipper and a huge beetle named leon who zipper tried to attack. then we transported leon away from zipper on the plate discussed earlier. sarah "stupid japanese beetles, I'm a racist!"
beverly, "yeah, they need to be killed." leon, I might add, was not japanese as far as we know. he was quite handsome. then we ate some flavor ice and I went home to play scrabble. greyskull.
posted by Beverly Writer at 7/12/2005
5 Comments:
very thorough job, but i have a few corrections:
1. i was kidding about the armpit licking/mask licking thing. just in case that didn't come across.
2. i said *if* he is insensitive he must be insensitive to everyone's feelings including his own. (not insensitive to all feelings but his own, ala a wimpster)
3. after mentioning the 'pleasure principal' sarah and i sang that song.
xoxo
oh yes i forgot to add that i love how you named the beetle, 'leon'. very good name.
yeah, when i typed that part about the queen helene, i thought i should perhaps say something about how it was a joke, obviously, but then i thought, "oh, what the hell, everyone who reads this knows its a joke, right?" but strangers may one day find us. and try to lick the queen helene off you as part of a mating dance.
You all have sunken to the foulest depths of debauch. As a note, Sisyphus is made to ceaselessly roll a boulder uphill in the Underworld (which is very hilly). This is why you may have heard a nerd say, "This book report is a Sisyphean labor [task, endeavor]." Fucking nerds.
Corks in my parts!
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