unofficial site for New Haven Writers' Club

winning.

2012-02-02T18:57:00.003-05:00

i recently discovered that there is a poet's seat poetry competition. (for those of you not in the know, poet's seat is the name of the tower here in greenfield. it looks like this:

anyhow, i have decided to enter this contest and win it. yes, i know i haven't written creatively in a very, very long time, but screw it, i can win this. it looks like the deadline for entry last year was march, so i've got about a month to brush up on my poetry writing skills. anyone interested in joining me on this journey? we've talked before about trying to have club online. maybe we can have little assignments. my stuffs going to be terrible (at least to start with. i'm hoping for a stroke of genius. or at least a stroke of good-enough-to-beat-the-competition.), so don't feel discouraged.
let's do this!!
ps - here is what my competition looks like.

learning about felching at atticus

2011-06-01T11:25:00.003-04:00

The awl (which I love) has a guide to the New Yorker's slow but eventual acceptance of dirty words. The use of "felch" amused me, particularly because I remember being in the company of some of my NHWC crew when I was in the basement of atticus and I learned what it meant. Let's hear it for books...those timeless educators, and for the slow adoption of dirty words.

http://www.theawl.com/2011/05/new-yorker-profanity#more

Memo from the past to the present

2011-05-03T10:46:00.015-04:00

I went to the Milford goodwill last night. I was delighted to discover a Norwegian sweater and then, a few minutes later, a copy of the 1996 Educational Center for the Arts Literary Magazine, "THAT'S NOT PUNK ROCK" containing my youthful scribblings. Holy coincidence. Only $1!

I take a picture on my cellphone and flip it over to look at the back...someone had identified my feet and Andrea's visage in this handwriting that looks eerily familiar:

I look through it, and then flip to the front page. The book is inscribed to an unknown recipient. I felt like I pooped in public:

It is like a strange gift of a turd that at the time I thought was a golden nugget. I was excited to see it and then it revealed youthful narcissism. I was torn between purchasing it for a dollar, and ripping out the front page. And then I did neither thing. I put it back on the shelf and walked away like a person who didn't know anything about it at all.

notes from a moldy suitcase.

2010-02-22T21:12:00.002-05:00

monday, april 24, 2006

"you don't understand, i ate a huge sandwich" - beth

"is the phone ringing?!" - sudden & loud, robin

"that's my favorite thing to do - try to watch a movie and fall asleep." - beth

"sometimes i realize the way i'm sitting is really uncomfortable, but i'm just too lazy to move." - sr

"it must suck to be an animal in out time." - beth

[and now i am throwing that piece of paper in the garbage before i inhale more noxious mold. hope this blog is archival.]

reunion in november?

2009-10-28T00:35:00.003-04:00

guyz, for real. let's do a reunion in november. a blitzkrieg of snax and laffs and wordz and egregious intentional misspellings! i will pilgrimage for it. will snow be involved? who can say what mother nature thinks of the nhwc.... hugz, siri lakshmi

p.s. this guy is not invited:

press: nhwc

2008-11-26T12:23:00.001-05:00

And will you join me?

hot

2008-04-15T12:52:00.003-04:00

VQR loves Cliches like I love peanut butter

2008-03-17T15:07:00.001-04:00

From here

"This was supposed to be a blog entry about how authors submit poetry to us covering clichéd topics that there’s just no way we’re going to print. But then I did the math, calculating the percentage of our submissions and published work that contain any of a dozen mainstays of poetic terminology, and found that precisely the opposite is true.

submitted published
water 19.9% 24.8%
death 14.1% 15.2%
blood 11.7% 13.8%
stone 11.1% 16.0%
bone 9.1% 7.8%
poetry 7.6% 10.3%
heart 7.5% 6.7%
fish 7.0% 5.3%
birth 5.5% 7.4%
darkness 3.9% 17.0%
rust 3.3% 2.5%
cat 2.3% 2.8%

As it turns out, our editor is all about those dreaded paeans to cats. The moral of the story is that talent transcends topic, I suppose; in the hands of a skilled poet, even stone/bone can be made a vital couplet again."

girls rule, boys drool

2008-03-06T09:11:00.004-05:00

Scientific American reports that girls process words differently than boys, which accounts for our SUPERIOR LANGUAGE SKILLS. Boys use different parts of their brains when processing language, so they need more visual and oral stimulation (this sounds terribly dirty) whereas the little ladies can pick up information either way. Read all about it here in scientific american. Contest the findings if you are a lady and your prefer to learn both ways...

taking family swim to a whole new level

2008-02-15T10:28:00.002-05:00

and probably a level that is too romantic...

commentary here

famous people read, too!

2008-02-03T18:33:00.000-05:00

Reading the New Yorker this morning i came across the funniest little thing about Art Garfunkel's Library. He's been keeping track of the books he's read since 1968 and they are now all listed online. The article itself was also quite funny (Jan 28th issue). Actually, it's probably more entertaining than looking at a list of books he's read, but i've still decided to share this with you. Maybe we should introduce him to Goodreads? Also, among the books he's read is a biography of Simon & Garfunkel. Now that's gotta be a weird experience....

if we were a band

2008-01-10T13:43:00.001-05:00

Vaguely amazing overview of the stratification of fiction in America

2007-12-05T09:42:00.000-05:00

This guy named Tao Lin wrote a pretty hilarious article in Seattle's The Stranger called: "From Lowest to Highest: The Levels of Greatness a Fiction Writer Can Achieve in America" among them are USED HONDA CIVIC IN "GREAT" CONDITION: Jonathan Franzen/ Rick Moody/David Foster Wallace and THREE-FOR-A-DOLLAR FEEDER FISH: Steve Almond. So freaking excellent. Check it out here: from lowest to highest

this reminded me of that time

2007-11-16T09:57:00.000-05:00

this reminded me of that time that Steve was going on about how he used to wear shorts under his tights, so I thought I'd share:
"Sometimed when I walk through the East Village, I feel a gust of nostalgia for 1993when I first moved to New York and lived with my artsy friend Jill in a two-bedroom on 12th Street. It was a carefree, de-gorgeous era, when I often wore girl’s-size thermals printed with snowflakes or flowers and $3 thrift store bell-bottoms. I even knotted my hair in Bjork buns. I suppose we can all get lost in our nostalgia, no matter how dumb we looked." --Mike Albo from the New York Times in "Come out of your cave and get used to the price."

i made it!

2007-09-18T17:54:00.000-04:00

home computer 1, school computer 0. my trusty ol' dell knows how to speak my language.
i am using this post to request that miss writer and/or SLS give some background on the photos that appear on miss writer's flickr page (silly me! i almost wrote flicker!). i am very curious about the bevy of mutant vegetables.
on that note, i will share with you a little fact i recently learned from my esteemed roommate, educator of today's youth on the past. (mind you this will be a summary based on my memory of what she told me. certain details may be a little off or missing)
so, people started out as hunters primarily. but that was a hard and unpredictable life. you never know if you are going to come across an animal, and if you do, will you be able to kill it? so then they started noticing that some of the wheat buds didn't pop as they were supposed to (into flowers i think?). and these unpopped buds were edible. so, they took these tasty mutants and planted them so they'd have even more tasty mutants. many of the things we grow now are actually the mutant variety of what they originally were.
i don't think i presented or explained that well enough, but it totally fascinated me when i heard it.
now put that in your pipe and smoke it!

a mod(ern)ish proposal

2007-08-06T12:27:00.000-04:00

Guys:
You wanna meet virtually via gmail chat? At a specified time once every other week?
Or at a place where we can all but SLS be involved but we'll put her on conference call...but wait...she doesn't have a phone.
Lemme know, Boos, I misses your writerly kisses,

Beverly

emily dickinson world domination league

2007-07-17T01:07:00.000-04:00

Lost in the internets

2007-07-12T12:48:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gent I really need to focus. ON CLUB!!! That said, Sarah F. Where are you? This also applies to the rest of my life (focus). But here are some scattered things that might interest you as they interest me, and then again maybe not.

1. librarians are cool (not that you didn't already know this)

2. meriden. Who'dda thunk?

3. number 2 thanks to Andrea

4. Where I've been (fascinating, I tell you!)

5. Lightly addictive: consumerist

...

2007-05-03T23:36:00.000-04:00

plastic and wires and gel
tissue and tubes and semen
We've altered something....
Flawless surfaces, unabraded and functioning?
But this snug sheath is our concern --
I've no intimacey with them:
Vital, Pulsing, Aging
I've had so little to say to them before
but now I beseech thee,
Guts,
remain true,
for I have found you
and your divinity.

...

2007-05-03T23:15:00.000-04:00

This desert is hostile.
I'd been exposed to it
for crimes made according to
a higher sense of "justice"--
But now these concepts shrink
with the heat of day
as night becomes
and moonlight glares. Where
scorpions fold out
to mate, cleave, and sting
as beetles roll homes
for their progeny.
Cold sears.
And I'm left cradling
under the great machinery
unaware of my toil.
Theirs is unknown even to them!
and Their movement is soundless
while I clutch my knees
to my chest
in hope of warmth.

cleverectomy asia-style

2007-04-27T14:42:00.000-04:00

i was just re-reading old nhwc minutes in my procrastination before trying to sleep, and i was laughing out loud at how clever we all were back in the day. it was a great feeling to revisit the glorydays, as it were, and reminded me of how humbled i've been by living here in korea, where any pride i once had in my cleverness has been torn from me by the brutal reality of my inability to speak the language of the people with whom i now reside. oh yes, it is quite a thing to get into a cab and be unable to explain where you want to go, nevermind make small talk with the driver. the list goes on into infinity and though my korean vocabulary has grown in the past 8.5 months, it is still abysmal (though my mime skills are quite spectacular now--i often resort to grunting and pointing tarzan-like at things and using no verbs to say something is good or not good, etc...). ah how amazing it will be in 3.5 months to be in a country where i am capable of participating in impromptu witty conversations again! truly i cannot entirely wrap my mind around it....

p.s. one delight i enjoy exclusively here is the universal enthusiasm korean children have for the "high five" maneuver, which i am singlehandedly (or double-handedly in the case of the sporadic "high-ten") propagating across korea one immature palm at-a-time. that's right, in asia i can slap high and proud or low and slow with no irony and no shame.

paper crown

2007-04-26T15:39:00.000-04:00

postcard matic nanopowrimo

2007-04-22T19:17:00.000-04:00

Steve Ross provided this little number:
Postcard Poetry

I ride two-dimensional against
a heavy-tooth,
cardstock city.
It's a toupe season, lasting longer
than expected.
And I feel teal.
Gears grind over teeth and catch,
large ratio so I can speed past
my family into the thickening
clay haze
where there are no roads, no signs.

et vous...mes amies?

NaPoWriMo

2007-04-03T10:02:00.000-04:00

so i think beth and i are the only ones checking this blog anymore, but just in case i'm wrong i will post this here ... beth has inspired me to participate in national poetry writing month. we have taken up the challenge to write a poem-a-day for april. woohoo! she is posting hers on her blog and i'm posting mine here: anicca.

hope others join in! nhwc 4-evah across the globe!

"crazy story" game

2007-03-07T11:16:00.000-05:00

today i introduced my older classes to exquisite corpsing, which i dubbed (for simplicity) the "crazy story" game. two out of three classes wrote boring ass stuff, but one class, my final class of the day, worked magic. 'twas a thing of beauty and flawed grammar and hilarity. i of course thought of nhwc and wished you could all have been here to experience the moment with me. i will try to scan and post the story, titled "the fat boy likes to eat people" tomorrow. for now the title will serve as a teaser... to whet your appetite (for people?), as it were. [btw, eating people is low carb., so why is the boy fat? this is a topic we didn't get into in class, as low-carb diets are unheard of here in the land of epic white rice consumption]

big mouth strikes again

2007-03-05T09:48:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gent, I miss NHWC and thought I'd share some recent rejection in the spirit of old times. You'll note you know all of these works, I do believe.
Missing Club,
Ms. Beverly

Dear Beverly,

Great to hear from you and thank you for submitting your work:

Our Secrets Sleep in Winter Clothes
Summer Values
One Nation under Weather

With hundreds of literary magazines to choose from, we're truly honored that you selected QF! We’re sorry to say, however, that we were not able to place your work in this issue. We wish you the best in placing it elsewhere.

We love your work, Bev, but it just didn't have the narrative arc we were looking for. (beginning-middle-ending or hints thereof) Certainly hope you're working on a novel though! Your eye is as good now as I remember it in school!

Best,
Fine Editor

if we had a tesseract i'd be there now sampling your hummus

2007-01-26T08:09:00.000-05:00

it's been such a long time and it may be longer still before anyone happens upon this blog, but i wanted to give a shout-out to the nhwc from (of all places) south korea. yo yo yo whassup?! i miss you all and what we had together (now i get all shmaltzy from over-dosing on rice cakes and gummi worms) and hope that we can reunite in august when i return from this year in the land of infinite kimchi varieties.

hope you are all having a great 2007 so far.
much much much latent writerly love,
siri

Salted beef and tankards of wine

2006-08-01T16:02:00.000-04:00

The French physician François Bernier, who arrived at the court of the Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb in the 1660s, was astonished to discover that vegetarianism was not only a viable option, it was a military asset. ‘Whereas European armies were weighed down with barrels of salted beef and tankards of wine – without which the European soldier would absolutely refuse to fight – Indian armies were perfectly content with readily transportable dried foods such as lentils and rice.’

From the literary review where all the nerds get their premium information.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am never joining the European armies of history.

YES.

2006-07-10T20:56:00.000-04:00

future present

2006-06-28T11:26:00.000-04:00

send a note from the present to your future
and please let the nhwc commence at some future date. I need the nutrients.

a girl wins spelling bee for 1st time since '99

2006-06-01T23:06:00.000-04:00

yep, and she's a jersey girl. full story here. the winning word? "ursprache"

games for the delinquent

2006-05-31T10:54:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen I come to you in a state of despair. How many long months have we been without new compositions? How long must we sit, our inkpots dry, our quills withering in the land known as writeria's blockibus? I can take it no longer! I may also have a new club member for us. We need to buy some india ink and get inking. In the meantime, go here and find your poet name, then if you so desire, create a composition with this name in your mind. To find your poet name you must scroll down to find the page for boys or girls.

In other news, "What bothers our wives is neglect. Buy her a rose bouquet each week, when you purchase scientific supplies for yourself like a book, a microscope, a Petri dish, etc." Researchers discover that being married hinders the careers of scientists. I might like to see a similiar study for writers. I think they get along just fine if they are men, as they are allowed to hole up and type while the wife cares for the chilluns. More here As usual, I'm poaching via arts & letters daily, which also has some neat info about the science of attraction.

undrunken ramblings

2006-05-27T14:37:00.000-04:00

So that last post was done under the influence of booze. Thus far I must state the highlight has been seeing some fun manuscripts at the British Library. Not the magna carta, or the rosetta stone, but the original version of alice in wonderland which was called "alice goes underground" (or something) illustrated by lewis carroll himself. also a humorous history of british kings written by jane austen when she was 15. her writing desk was also there. It was pretty excellent. There wer manuscripts by a bunch of famous british authors, as well as this wall-hung cabinet of stamps from all over the british colonies (some even on letters) which slid out sideways to be viewed. I have also seen lots of other things, and swam in a pool, and sauna-ed, and saw medical specimens, a tonsil guillotine, a medically preserved penis, and some mustelids. This ends my ramblings.

what you have heard is true

2006-05-26T20:36:00.000-04:00

Listen: England is bizarre
men in pinstripe suits
national tradition of racism
beer
weird sandwiches
great parks
falconers

let your imagination be found honest.
it is all true.

jolly old

2006-05-18T16:32:00.000-04:00

talk about last minute...I am going to England on Wednesday. Any of my club comrades have ideas, suggestions, questions, requests? Tea? Crumpets? Cucumber Sandwiches?

stamp scrounging at the new yorker!

2006-05-12T11:01:00.000-04:00

Check it: here's what happened to that poetry submission I sent in 2002. They probably still have my "wild creatures of the northeast" stamp while my poems are headed to that landfill in the sky.

triumphant death knell

2006-05-08T10:22:00.000-04:00

Club: when I am losing faith in the universe, and poetry in general (for once again I have not been chosen, annointed, given the golden goose, or appointed grand master general of poetry incorporated) and myself as well, and my commitmentto writing in general(for example, I registered to attend a writing conference and then slept in too late to attend)something kinda fun happens that keeps me vaguely motivated. After Thursday, I hope to return to my prolific self, and put the writing pants back on. Until then, I have some short shorts (not pants!) coming out in an Emerson anthology, not that I have any pride in my college, who I believe stole from me something in the area of $50,000, my sanity, and my self-esteem. Which is why I never give them money.

Dear Beverly Writer,
We are pleased to inform you that your short shorts "We Change Our Names" and "Call Carmine" have been selected for inclusion in Brevity and Echo: Short Short Fiction by Emerson College Alumni. The response to our call for previously published pieces was tremendous, and we are thrilled with the high caliber of the short shorts we've selected and about the anthology as a whole. Thank you to the many of you who passed the call for stories on to other alums.

meow

2006-05-07T15:25:00.000-04:00

cats in libraries

minutes. may day. 2006.

2006-05-01T23:27:00.000-04:00

"these minutes are disposable." - REK

May Day Cookout Hurrah!

2006-05-01T02:04:00.000-04:00

NHWC-ers all (old, current, honorary):
Come and join us for the first-annual May Day NHWC vegetarian cookout!
When: Monday May 1st
Where: 83 Mechanic backyard
When: 6 p.m.

There is not yet a kiddie pool, but we do have badminton, ungame, and a lovely lawn. Please bring refreshments of your choosing and any items you might enjoy grilled.

Love and tofu pups shall abound! Did someone say "exquisite corpse"? Oh yes, typewriter stations must be manned! Winter is officially over, and the backyard lushness reigns supreme!

p.s. marinating spices for asparagus and salads are also welcome.

minutes. monday, april 24, 2006.

2006-04-26T20:34:00.000-04:00

not much, but still funny.

- "you don't understand, i ate a huge sandwich." - B
- "is the phone ringing??" - a sudden, panicked R
- "that's my favorite thing to do - try to watch a movie and fall asleep." - B
- "sometimes i realize the way i'm sitting is really uncomfortable, but i'm just too lazy to move." - SR
- "it must suck to be an animal in our time." - B

of teeth and david byrne

2006-04-21T14:47:00.000-04:00

david byrne who I like so much I almost booked a dental appointment with another human who has the same name, for that reason only (how fun to say, "Oh, I have a 10:30 with David Byrne") has a online journal that rules as much as he does. Check out this entry on Australia.

minutes. monday, april 17, 2006.

2006-04-19T18:42:00.000-04:00

minutes in pictures.

and, in case you were questioning it ...

about those biscuits

2006-04-19T11:53:00.000-04:00

the art of memoir supervised by yours truly, gets some press with a non-sequitur about Ansonia thrown in. I must tell you that while this class is winding down, I was strong-armed into another session yesterday, which will begin in June. I look forward to regaling you with more second-hand tales about those biscuits, getting caught chewing tobacco, and the blue teapot. Until then, here is this week's writing assignment, boys and girls:

LOVE!
This week, write about love. Even when a lot of time has passed, we can often recall the locations and places where we spent with the object of our affection. Remember the times you shared and the things you did together.

If you are bored with love in your own life, you can write about anyone in your life whose relationship, from your perspective, seemed really magical or special (even baffling!)

On a largely unrelated note, I am very excited about this new reading series at Anchor Bar

minutes. monday, april 10, 2006.

2006-04-11T20:26:00.000-04:00

in milford!!

9:27 - "yeah, there's a lot of sediment in this wine." - B
"oh...i thought you said, 'there's a lot of sentiment in his whine.'" - SR

beverly talks of creepy doll photos

9:55 - "i've always had a passion for mr. rogers" - SR

10:16 - "getting ready for some scrabs? ... ew...that's gross." - B
- "wouldn't it be weird if we were just skeletons sitting here?" - B

11:32 - "we hate our carpet, we might as well eat it." - B

12:07 - "jon conine - once again, showing writers' club how it's spelled." - B

minimal minutes. talk of holograms, string theory, almost human dolls. an amazing moment when SR starts to describe a particularly moving episode of this american life, causing beth to jump up saying, "steveross steveross steveross" and having the episode on cd because she had planned a class based on the exact same episode. (we listened to it. it truly was as wonderful as they had built it up to be.) then a game a scrabble and getting whooped by conini.

fin.

HEY!!! i cannot believe i almost forgot this.... there were multi-colored carrots, too!! behold!

oh, and....

solastalgia

2006-04-11T14:26:00.000-04:00

Finally the english language delivers my ineloquence a reprieve. Solastalgia is a term coined by Glenn Albrecht to describe the sadness caused by environmental change. Or, "the distress caused by the lived experience of the transformation of one's home and sense of belonging and is experienced through the feeling of desolation about its change." (from Clive Thompson's always awesome collision detection.)More here.

If I don't laugh I'll cry (or start some big fights!)

2006-04-07T15:03:00.000-04:00

Okay wedding drama installment no. 17:
Maybe I mentioned this earlier at club or perhaps not. Some people I know are getting married. (They recently planned their wedding then cancelled the plans. I think this decision may be 3% influenced by the fact that I cried aloud to a bridesmaid about the absurdidy of china priced $50 and up. (The only items on the registry.) I think I may have also said, "I don't HAVE to buy that!" to the bridesmaid. Anyway, it has come to light via certain channels that the bride was concerned I might not be properly dressed for this elaborate festival celebrating her non-existent virginity. (Did I just say that? But really, who is a virgin these days?) Mostly she felt this way because she heard through certain channels that the dude in my life and I would be CAMPING on the fancy-pants island where all hotel rooms were like $200+ a night, and riding our bikes to the ceremony. I am, on one hand offended, but now that the event has been limited to family a new and better solution has come to mind.
a campground fashion shoot!
please join me on a weekend in august where I have already booked my campground site. I will be bringing my finery, my pearls, my lipstick, my freaking high heeliest shoes. And I will show the snarks how nice people can look while camping.

questions to ponder while thinking about things that must be done

2006-04-05T20:44:00.000-04:00

Everybody knows we didn't have club on Monday. Except maybe our helter-skelter members who check the blog once a month or year, like Sheehan (who we forgot to drunk dial from S.R.'s party) and Tricia, who lives in the North, and Sarah I., who posted once (remember?) and then didn't anymore. And also excpet for our honorary members, who are my favorite kind of members, because they appear every couple of years and roll around on yoga balls, or teach people to play guitar, or concieve of "cockwear." And where is that magical SLS? Back in our region? Climbing Mt. Monadock (total misspelling). Anyway, I used the occasion to move furniture because it is spring and I was sort of tired of my living room. I like the new layout (much more space in the middle of the room to roll about in) but then again I didn't do any writing, and there is a paper to try to write if I want to party this weekend, and there is an article I wanted to write for the newspaper about paperback swap, and then there is crafting, which always seems to lie in this corner of my brain that says, "DO IT NOW!" when there is a chapter about information science to be read. Will Beverly fail her midterm? The world may know tomorrow. Until then, fair and tender comrades, I bid you adieu.

books

2006-03-29T19:01:00.000-05:00

I went on this tour today: "Follow the fascinating journey each Yale Library book goes through from the point that it is selected and acquired by the library to the intricate cataloging process, to the point that it finally reaches the shelf. This truly behind-the-scenes tour will take you through areas of the library otherwise inaccessible to the public. Participants will have the chance to see the various processes each book goes through. The tour will begin in the Acquisitions Department where over 120,000 books, periodicals and microforms are received and processed annually. Meet the forty staff members who work with nearly 3,000 publishers, vendors, and booksellers to acquire materials published in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Western Europe. Then progress into the Cataloging Department where each book is classified and given a description. Find out how call numbers are designated so that books from all over the world are given their proper places in Yale's collections. The tour also includes a rare tour of the library's Preservation Department where damaged and special collection items are conserved, receiving a new lease on life! The tour will include visits to the Reformatting, Commercial Binding, Collection Care and Conservation units, where you can see examples of items being selected for microfilming, preservation photocopying and deacidification. This absorbing, one-hour tour will open your eyes to a whole new world behind the scenes at the Yale Library."
My only reflections at this point are: 1.) they really treat the librarians like mole people at Yale. 2.) I am having serious doubts about my career choice and 3.) the most interesting jobs seemed to be preservation related, and thus not what I'm studying. All the preservationists were smoking. As in totally hot (well, two were older, but they were 80% hot). This is an entirely different study path, one that I am not on. 4.) Many academics are pompous. 5.) S. R.'s facility was mentioned with revernce in the following context: "that Hamden shelving facility...a tour of that would be illuminating!"

I also want to mention that I neglected to mention the extensive conversation about heel spurs, bunions, and foot troubles we had at "club" on Monday. The quotes because it was really a jazzy chat session. If you like, you may use these topics to spur your writing. I am such a dork for that pun in the last sentence. Oh, and check out this week's Advocate for info on tomorrow's evening's Phil Birthday Bash at Daniel Street. Ice luge, guys, you know you want to take shots from it.

Love, Beverly

smarts

2006-03-28T12:17:00.000-05:00

who is smart
and who is silly? big brained northern europeans, apparently take the brain cake.

club is without minutes, as we were without the lustrous furgaslack attack, so we just meet in a low key fashion while I dozed beneath my sweatshirt hood. Stephen P. regaled us with tales of the glory days of the register, in the 80s, where the fauna frontier was embraced and the sun shone on the printing department. SLS regaled us with tales of what happens when companies do not update their computer systems because profits are tied to people, people! Robin regaled us with tales of her 4 months as a secretary, and I continued to doze.

headquarters moving up in the world

2006-03-23T02:38:00.000-05:00

well... it looks like as of june/july, the nhwc headquarters (castle greyskull, as it were) will be moving up about 15 feet closer to the sky. yep, 2nd floor! senator digger and pompom could not be reached for comment at this early date.

get off our turf!

2006-03-11T15:26:00.000-05:00

so i'm flipping through the new york times book review this morning, and i gasp in horror when i see our catchphrase usurped! i suppose, as stenographer, i'm probably expected to be in charge of other logistical, secretarial duties, such as securing the copyrights for our gems of wisdom. have i let you down, my comrades?

for lovers of gmail

2006-03-09T21:01:00.000-05:00

You know SLS, Furgs & I are big fans of gmail...so get ready for the revolution...
writely

my triumphs, my failures

2006-03-09T15:12:00.000-05:00

Club: One cool and possibly bad thing is that you can live vicariously through my submitting. After the wanker we discussed just days ago, my inbox flowered a delicious springly surprise (goodness, if that last bit were a poem I'd reject it "flowered a delicious springly surpise" what is that?):

Dear Beverly Writer,
I am delighted to accept your poem POSTAGE DUE UNIT, CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA for
publication in the spring/summer issue of *journal name here*. Please sign the
attached release form and return it to us along with the work on IBM/MSW-formatted disk and a brief bio.

Thank you for sending us your interesting work.
Best,
A.A.

I love that she called my work interesting which is much more supportive than, say, Imaginative Work--but light on craft. Now I just have to locate another copy of the poem, which doesn't seem to be anywhere.

Minutes I: Half a Bottle of Wine. Mutterings, Ecstacy ... Little That Hasn't Been Said Before and Said Better

2006-03-07T00:46:00.000-05:00

“Everyone is entitled to their opinion.”
This is something that I often hear—something I’d like to believe. It rings of pluralism and democratization. But really, as I see it, it is little more than an excuse for simple thinking and easy answers—answers derived not from logical analysis or anything resembling our fondest abstractions, love and truth, but instead from weakness, insecurity, and misanthropy. Critical thinking is usurped by idle chatter.
As I see it, most peoples’ opinions are wrong. Hateful. Ignorant.
“Who the fuck are you to say such a thing?”
I’m an asshole, sure. My name is Steve Ross and I’m narcissistic, and wasteful, and wholly ignorant of most of the world around me. I say stupid things that I regret and I can be manipulative and I often dream of the easy life I will have once I’m discovered by some unknown entity as an unparalleled writer, rock star, artist, etc. These are the lies I tell myself knowing them as untrue. These are the lies we inherit from watching Sesame Street and believing our parents when they tell us that we can be anything that we want to be. They forget about sadness. Nepotism. Competition. Loss. Defeat.
But they don’t really forget. They just can’t tell.
But still, as much of an asshole I am, I’m not a bigot. I’m not a racist. I’m not a misogynist.
I’m not a businessman or a cop or a good ol’ boy.
I claim no allegiance to any dogma, whether political, religious, or otherwise.
I tear up seeing sunlight fall across the sidewalk onto murmuring pigeons basking. I feel fondness for old women swearing. There’s times when I think that our species is magnanimous, beautiful, and admirable. There’s times when I think that the insipid brutality is waning and that finally, some god damn person is realizing that they have to shut the fuck up and take a look at the insects, the dirt, and later, the buildings.
That someone somewhere feels a twinge of guilt seeing the fescues brown after they mow.
Jung spoke of a collective unconscious—a common soul shared by all humans.
I don’t agree.
But I see the commonality in our genetic heritage, our phylogenic niche in the helices of churning millennia. I see the hands and minds of apes writ wise and nimble.
I see this family and I love it and I love that I can believe that I love. I love that someone so nearly identical to myself first felt the idea of love at all and called it a name, created this profound and familiar symbol.
But another, “entitlement,” has encroached upon it. Now “entitlement” calls the shots.
“Entitlement” allows us to claim that people living in ghettos don’t really ever want to leave.
That belief in a magic and belief in evolution are both theories, and therefore neither is more accurate of a description of the natural world.
That economies need be based on profit.
That buildings need be square.
That life is somehow less amazing without a purpose.
That “purpose” is real.

I want to relieve myself of my persona just this once. I, like you, are a carrier of genes, and while our temporal positioning corresponds, let’s be wise apes for once, and bare our teeth at the ones who are wrong, despite what they believe they’re entitled to. Let’s bite them and lick their wounds. For they aren't so much as wrong, but rather, misguided.

So how is this accomplished, my dear NHWC? Where do I begin?

Rejection Party

2006-03-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

Just when my ego was getting puffy...all digger style, I get some poems back from the COMSTOCK REVIEW (I am so annoyed at the rudeness that I just have to reveal the source). Hand scrawled (and I emphasize scrawled) on the corner of the generic rejection form is this note:

Imaginative Work--but light on craft. JB

Wow, I'm so fucking glad this guy took a moment of his time to praise & insult my poems in the same sentence. What a wanker.

minutes. monday, february 27, 2006.

2006-03-01T16:41:00.000-05:00

first of all, SR made some kick ass delicious pesto.

8:46 - siri wheels and deals for etsy feedback

9:43 - "all my orifices were jammed." - SR's reaction to the film love liza

9:46 - "i love it when people point at me shriek and laugh" "point at lola, too. she's really well-dressed. she's puffified." SLS, after SR asked if it was warm in the house, then saw her with much winter gear on and burst out laughing and pointing
"I actually think of her as a paradigm to female cat beauty." SR on Ms. Lola Digger, that's Senator Digger to you, gentle reader.

10:18 - "steveross, your mind is that of a complex beast" - miss beverly

10:20 - "trust the lobsters" becomes our new motto

10:33 - "do yourself a favor and read stranger in a strange land" - guess who.

10:35 - "oh. that's right. because you're not a pothead. you get used to that." SR to SLS re: being dumb the next day

10:40 - the ceremonial lamp is conceived.

transmissions from satellite

2006-02-28T21:46:00.000-05:00

trial:
attempt to buy nothing for an entire month, barring foodstuffs for your belly.

trail:
attempt letterboxing every weekend for a month, even when it is so cold out your face wants to fall off.

trial:
make a thing every day. even when you are sleepy and want to crawl into bed and never face the world again.

trail:
rent a pony once a week and ride it.

dreams

2006-02-24T14:15:00.000-05:00

Last evening I achieved the best and most complete night sleep I've had all week. I was in Switzerland, on a ski vacation. Jon had forgotten his passport (I spoke to him in the united states) and yet arrived some time later, having gotten a waiver or hall pass of some sort that got him across the border. When I woke up to travel to work, I did not want to leave the parades and fine cheeses of sweitz. So club, what have you been dreaming about? Will you join me saturday night for goonies at criterion? Can we move club to sunday night on march 12, instead of monday the 13th?

All these things I ask of you, dear friends, as I procrastinate reading my homework for tonight's class, as I think of how foolish it was to cancel club last weekend. My co-workers are aquiring pastry, and I sit here thrilled with the excitment of my de-trojaned computer. Beverly shall return to the posting excitment she once achieved! The sun will shine. The winds will blow, and I hope you will write a small bit about a recent dream, my one, my only NHWC.

unphotographable.

2006-02-19T22:17:00.000-05:00

on this fellow's website he describes photos that he wasn't actually able to take. doesn't this happen to you all the time? what a good way to deal with such frustration.

beth's a slave driver.

2006-02-19T00:41:00.000-05:00

"a directory of wonderful things"

minutes. monday, february 13, 2006.

2006-02-15T17:58:00.000-05:00

everyone is cranky. no one has written.

9:00 - "i'm gonna be a mechanic of my own body, too." -classic SLS

10:16 - "just pick an apple! life has fuckin' bruises, you know." -beth to siri, who has been examining each apple and returning it to the bag. after this outburst, siri ends up with a bum apple.

10:18 - "it sags beneath your teeth when you bite it." -siri, about the aforementioned bum apple
"like an old woman's anus." -beth (then says she meant buttocks)

club deteriorates into balderdash, justification: it's still writing.

11:05 - "yo! that spectre's feezin' me out!" -SR

11:17 - "we can get weiner stuffed animals." -siri, followed by a collective groan of disgust. "stuffed penis." -SR(?)

11:25 - "i used to have a really weird relationship with nico in high school." -SR

11:27 - "are you giggleplexing over there?" -beth, to a giggling siri

11:34 - "we only know each other under the pretences of alcohol..." -SR, after not remembering "sexual diapers." neither did beth. or so they claim.

11:38 - "ustulate" inspires nasty sunburn stories

minutes pour lundi, 6 fevriere 2006.

2006-02-15T17:30:00.000-05:00

8:46 - "i love it when people call somebody a brother." -beth

8:51 - "i'm imagining steveross as a foetus inside a teddy bear." - SR

9:57 - "i think i fell in love with dean at that moment" -SR

10:01 - punxatawny phil - a weird man-child that lives underground. siri thinks he's a good metaphor for our species. "we won't last long as punxatawny phil." -beth

10:04 - "again, strong ending. it's like a good dismount. you stuck it." -siri, to beth

10:06 - "passion for mustard - that's commendable." -beth

10:08 - "i am an inta-grrl." -SR

10:22 - "your mind makes me shit." -SR's comment to SLS after reading her story

10:28 - "first place ... in failure to perform." -beth, to sarah

10:32 - "i could write gross stories and steve could illustrate them." -siri

11:05 - "there's something about the phrase jammin' out - it just curdles my milk." -siri

11:10 - "that's a very early commitment to marijuana...but i'm there." -[i'll let this one be anonymous. you know how high the government's interest in the NHWC blog is...]

11:29 - "lola's a pothead. she's f-in' stoned."

11:34 - sarah realizes she has visceral reactions to tom robbins/jitterbug perfume.

11:36 - philosophical discussion of "catcher in the rye"

very soon we will be able to see the actual page, repleat with the insane doodles of mr. ross.

["club after hours" produces "sexual diapers" - siri and sarah's band where they only play bongos and sing about sex.]

Crips and Bloods Ain't Got Nothin'

2006-02-14T00:22:00.001-05:00

There are few things in life that one can love like their writing club, especially if it involves Lakshmi, Beverly, and Urf (and our acolytes, REK, Miller, and the enigmatic and disappearing Lafe). I am beholden to and admiring of my compatriots, my comrades at arms.

I'm always happy when I go to bed on Mondays. Thanks guys.

ou est le occasionnes?

2006-02-11T02:50:00.000-05:00

Je ne comprend pas le absence de postings. Ou est le minutes, Mademoiselle Furgulack? Les ammies de la N. H. W. C. demande le minutes,

images of stephen peter

Bonne Soir, le juenne fille,

Mademoiselle Beverly

offensive muslim cartoons

2006-02-07T02:45:00.000-05:00

guys, per our conversation, here's a page with the cartoons in question

enjoy!

cool exquisite corpse-esque sites

2006-02-06T15:19:00.000-05:00

these must certainly have been fabricated by the gods of writer's block:

oneword.com

poetc.com

onecaption.com

On Writing Well

2006-02-02T12:38:00.000-05:00

"Francis Conversations with Writers and Editors"
Thu Feb 2 2006 7:30 PM
Anne Fadiman, the Francis Writer in Residence, will introduce the speaker.
Location: Common room
BR (Branford College)
74 High St.
Speaker: William Zinsser, author, "On Writing Well," will read from his works
Open to: General Public
Admission: Free
Wheelchair Accessible

times a wastin'

2006-01-31T13:23:00.000-05:00

Hey people
since we didn't meet here are some sites to wish were as cool as club:

general reference librarian's resource

52 projects there are a bunch of sub-links from this page that rule, including a link to the scariest, realest thing I ever heard on NPR, this story about this guy who was lobotomized by his parents. this is rough stuff, be ready.

I made sarah do a writing exercise via phone that anyone else can participate in. Stuart is your lead character. He is dating someone who does not like the kind of pet he has, but is trying to conceal this pet from this person. You can also spell his name "Stewart."
Also, I'd like to point out that all of the comments on the previous post are by me. Because no one else seems to have the energy for the blogger word verification.

Tra-la, Happy Tuesday

Also note that Movies & Mimosas next weekend (the 12th) is Harold & Maude and I will be there, with bells on.

minutes! monday, january 24, 2006.

2006-01-24T20:36:00.000-05:00

after the first meeting of 2006 provided the opportunity to get reacquainted with the concept of NHWC, we finally got down to business this week.
amidst an array of fine wines, pretzels, hummus, turkish dried apricots, and something called "cinderella 99", the following events occurred...

beth comments on having a good eye for something, leading steveross to say, "similarly, i have a good eye for brandy - want some?" though we'd already discussed the hideousness of it.

beth realizes that she can receive text messages, discovering that sheehan did, in fact, respond to our drunk dialing her months ago (beth, maybe you could share the contents of this message, as i forgot to ask)

it is agreed that there should be a universal rumspringa.

"we're all like doctors," SR, re: confidentiality

"sometimes you're not sure which side of the joke you're on," SR

"you are the most self-conscious human being i've even met in my life, yo," SR

and those are my first minutes of 2006.

Imagine my surprise!

2006-01-24T12:53:00.000-05:00

Looking for line dancing moves on the internets...I came upon these magical notes:

CHICKENS See HEEL SPLITS

CHUG A scoot forward or sideways on one foot while the other
foot is held in a raised position. Also called a SCOOT,
SKOOCH or a HOP.

I think we need to start a chuggen club. More here and here perform a search on "chicken" or "chug" and see all the things that come up.

Apparently, country line dancers like chickens as much as we do.

Gratuitous Self-Promotion

2006-01-19T12:00:00.000-05:00

Hey ya'll...Mama gots a brand new blog! Please come check it out. And thanks. Uh-yut.

what has become of the nhwc?

2006-01-17T16:52:00.000-05:00

seriously.
we gotta get on it.
that's all.

Requited

2006-01-08T03:01:00.000-05:00

LOOK WHAT I FOUND SAVED AS A DRAFT (UNPUBLISHED) IN THE NHWC ARCHIVES!

This is my drunken love letter to NHWC.

We observe and comment.
We are similar in our methods of investigating the world around us.
Prose and verse are inadequate forms, thus we hang out.
We are critical.
We are comforting.
Suddenly there are new lives to interact with, learn from.
And we collect wisdom.

To call ourselves a writing club is inadequate.

I Am Putting This On EVERY Blog and Message Board I Am Associated With

2006-01-06T11:59:00.000-05:00

Because I LOVE it!!

Thanks to the The Willimantic Food Co-op I found this AWESOME story about Organic Store Wars

cuteness

2006-01-04T09:15:00.000-05:00

cutenesspersonified. I'd love to find an image equally cute and post it, but my damn compy with the necessary tools is still dragging under the weight of viruses. May 2006 be cute and involve more club, as we have been dead in the water since 12/18, and by my calculations that means I have not written a lick in nearly a month! What a jerk I am!

Letters from Nerd land

2005-12-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, I claimed I was going to post to this blog, so here goes. I'll do what I always do when people talk about literature: proselytize about my favorite SF writers, in this case Neal Stephenson. Anyone who writes should read this interview

So there. And read some Stephenson!

"The Big U" is a brilliant satire of college life, particularly at a large, impersonal university. This is not really sci fi, and is underrated because Stephenson himself doesn't seem to like it, but I think it's amazing.

"Snow Crash" is what forever typecast Stephenson as a "cyberpunk" writer, and what made him famous.

"The Diamond Age" is the best fictionalized account of what the future could look like if molecular nanotechnology ends up working. Amazing. In many ways, I have based my life on this book. It is what got me into experimental solid state physics.

"Cryptonomicron" takes place partly in the present day and partly during WWII, and is about the relationship between cryptography, currency, history, math, and a lot of other things. This book is also partly a basis for my worldview and has somewhat changed my life.

"Zodiak" is a "eco-thriller" about a biochemist who goes after some corporate polluters, and ends up tangling with a bunch of drug dealers who think he's after PCP, not PCB's. Probably mostly intersting for Farmer Sarah.

The Baroque Cycle is really a 3000 page novel that the publisher made Stephenson break up into a trilogy. It takes place between the end of the 17th and beginning of the 18th centuries, and is sort of a prequel to Cryptonomicron. This is where a lot of Stephenson fans seem to draw the line, but I love these books. The plot is unbelievably complicated, and mixes fictional characters with real characters, but the main themes are similar to cryptonomicron, but with more math and some alchemy thrown in. The feud between Newton and Leibnitz is at the center of it all--they both independently invented calculus, and had a feud that left Newton still writing furious letters to the Royal Society even after Leibnitz's death. You also find out aspects of Newton's life that are not talked about so much, such the existence of his gay lover, and the bloody rampage he went on against counterfitters when said gay lover died and when he was in charge of the Royal Mint.

Other than that, there are a couple thrillers he co-wrote with his uncle under a pen name which I like, but I'm not sure any of you would (The Cobweb and Interface), and an essay about computers called "in the beginning was the command line" which has some interesting ideas, but is non-fiction, and is somewhat obsolete now anyway.

Ok, I'm done.

If you want to borrow any of these books, let me know, I have all of them.

I made it to Boulder in one piece, and so I guess I live here now.

-thermominator

consider the pineapple

2005-12-16T11:50:00.000-05:00

Oh! That delectable fruit and if you are short on inspiration, please write on the subject for Monday.

If I knew the proper way to use the terminology, I would issue "snaps" to this article for being so considered and well put. I'm not sure if I'm using "snaps" correctly, however.

au revoir.

2005-12-13T17:03:00.000-05:00

lafe stopped by last night to say goodbye to everyone. but, of course, everyone was at steveross's new digs. he sends his love to all. especially you, steveross. i think he really wanted to see you.
do not fear, however. he will be back here and there and i'm sure siri will be able to get him over for an evening sometime in the future.
good luck to the good doctor!

the best revenge

2005-12-11T12:19:00.000-05:00

Looks like Trish got her hands on one of them "writing well is the best revenge" tees. The height of fashion for our NHWC grads. Shall we call them that, "grads" or does that bestow something that will make us want to up and flee. I think maybe lost baby lambs is better. I am sneezing and need a humidifier. IRA IRA IRA! and you know what I mean.
Love, Bev

fess up.

2005-12-10T11:07:00.000-05:00

pathetic but true ... i just got really sad learning that jonathan safran foer is married.

the moth

2005-12-09T13:07:00.000-05:00

at long wharf tonight. who knew? it's $35, though. and last minute.
and then there's the warriors at criterion.
what a night of culture!!

minutes. monday. november 28, 2005.

2005-12-07T20:20:00.001-05:00

...delayed due to laziness.

featuring ... ROBIN!!

steveross's reunion story beats sarah's ("whenever i hear pearl jam, i think of mattkelsey.")

SR (nodding ashamedly): "i wore tights in high school."
SF (fallinf over laughing): "like...under shorts, right?"
SR (still ashamed): "...yup."
(pearl jam makes its presence known tonight)

9:26 - "cleanly enchantment" (SLS's description of snow on trader joe's dumpster)
SR: "did you feel like god was smiling down on you?"
response enthusiastically positive.

9:34 - "wait....(interupting beth after first sentence) i just have to say that 'alibi' would be a really great stipper name" (SLS)

-the beth royer plan of economics: "guys, we have to either start this garden statuary thing or start a strip club named after the owner."

9:45 - "that's melvillian, that paragraph" (SLS)

10:07 - "beans and fruit are friends. good friends." (SLS)

10:09 - beth would like to later tell a story about fashion sense that relates to eileen's discussion with SR (back from the reunion), "are you a writah?"

"i heard clunks when i was reading it. it had heavy feet." (beth)

10:11 - "sometimes things are nice, and that's okay." (sarah defending happy endings)

10:23 - synethesia -> Nabokov

10:28 - "you're not as evolved if you're really white." (steveross)
"i like smells." (beth)

10:30ish - sarah installs a giant presentation flip-pad via the IKEA fragile-ware wrapping paper & takes the "netflix underground" concept too damn far.

11:08 - beth returns to her story

11:14 - "is there anymore writerly business to discuss?" (beth)

-> "the moth" -> oral story-telling -> google it.

11:31 - siri acts out letterboxing.

sundance

2005-11-28T02:56:00.000-05:00

just wanted to announce that former nhwc member sarah's film, moonshine, has been accepted into sundance film festival. congrats sarah!

inspiration

2005-11-27T23:50:00.000-05:00

isn't this neat-o? it's from my new favorite site: ephemeranow.com

minutes galore!!!

2005-11-22T23:35:00.000-05:00

tuesday, november 1, 2005.

(beth is in california)
moments of note:
*siri sounds like christopher walken (really. she did.)
*siri and sarah learn about "hot lunch"
*SR: ...although, if queefs were like keefs, i'd be more into queefs.
[intense laughter. pause.]
SLS: ...more??
*siri (to SR re:sarah): look at it...she's double fisting journals. pause for laughter. 2 journals, 2 pens.
pause for laughter. wouldn't it be cool if you could write a novel like that? one for the left brain, one for the right?
*siri: she gets very excited in the bed (re:lola's preference for butt-patting in the proper environment)
*"now you're double fisting with the cats." (SLS to SR?)
*sarah (?): is this a "jam band"?
SR: ...no....it's psychodelic, dude.
*SR: ...and they have the best pentagrams.
siri and sarah laugh uncomfortably
siri: (brave, yet cautious) pentagrams?
SR: no [as if we knew] .... pictagrams [as if...really? you didn't know?]
cathy magick = sarah's stripper name
"no...casting magic."
"you have .... alopecia?" - sarah thinks "progeria"

there are illustrations to accompany this. they will be added soon. or soonish. or sometime.

monday, november 7, 2005.

NHWC family reunion - we call it a reunion and invite all of our parents, who have never met each other before.

the the sheehan incident comes full circle in the endless voicemail
-> the club drunk-dialed sheehan

"the only place that needs puffin' up ..." - steveross beginning a critique

"i start writing a story and then i'm like, 'i'm trapped in bethland again'" - beth

beth and sarah discuss the holes in their socks. both get holes in the big toe then try to switch which feet they go on so the holes are in a different spot. after a pause, steveross says, "there's another thing i'll have to think about in the morning. another addition to the list of neuroses."

every civilization thinks they are on the verge of endtimes.

"communicable disease is an expression of humanity's need to share." (i think this was sarah's mantra from the birthday book?)

****all additions or clarifications welcome. especially clarifications.*******

the long yawn

2005-11-22T10:21:00.000-05:00

In honor of the recent inactivity on the part of club, and our nation as a whole of late, I hereby declare this share old pictures of the rawk that was the bachelor button table day. More rain, because the sky is melting. I miss you guys. I mean, I saw 2/3 of club last night, but not in club context. Oh, and steve ross is represented by the cicada shell, because he was like a shadow that clung to a leaf in chicago (he couldn't be at the wedding). Happy rain.
Love, Beverly

commerce

2005-11-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

please scroll down and smack that ass in the sadness that we didn't come up with this rocking turn of phrase. Writing well is the best revenge.

Also, anyone want to go to this?

Also, check it out writers on the spaces they create in. I think I am in love with the love between daniel handler (lemony snicket) and his wife.

Also, I have indigestion.

ira in the have.

2005-11-10T17:57:00.000-05:00

december 6th, an evening with ira glass. kind of expensive, but anyone want to go? (i'm looking at you, beth.)

paris hilton

2005-11-10T15:00:00.000-05:00

Apparently, Paris Hilton briefly attended the Canterbury School here in lovely Connecticut. And J.C.'s aunt kicked her out, because she snuck into NYC to party and was found out while Linda was on nightly staffing duty. ROCK!

Re: Cooch Cave

2005-11-05T03:11:00.000-05:00

Siri:

Thanks so much for submitting to FRESH YARN.

We just got a chance to read your piece and while there's some really funny writing in it, it's not quite what we're looking for.

We wish you much success.

Nomi

zombies

2005-11-04T12:34:00.000-05:00

this article from the new yorker about cyberextorition which I was going to try to explain (I read it before I left, and it was very interesting) but I am so lazy, I just stayed quiet. Seems like everyone is doing nanowrimo, and while I'd love to get on the bandwagon, I am still re-adjusting. Why must a vacation tucker me out so deeply? It is ridiculous. I love the weather, I hate getting out of work once it is already dark. And, I crave soup constantly now. It is so good to be back with my bed, the Lady Englander. I can't believe how much I missed her, she was like a member of the family.

no spooks for you

2005-10-31T21:02:00.000-05:00

and I thought it was going to be fun this year JC made plans with me earlier in the week, promising "lots of beer drinking and candy handing out" and now he doesn't even want beer. We went wine tasting and I ended up buying port, so be ready boys and girls, for some cigars and snifters. Otherwise, I narrowly survived a rattlesnake attack, Tijuana (tho everyone here shortens everything, so that's TJ to you), sharks, and a family with their nanny shopping at Amvets a few days before halloween. All Hallows Eve, I mean. I miss your rustling leaves and kitties, NHWC, see you soon, I changed my flight so I'm back on Thursday morning.

Love,
Beverly

wisdom of questionable origin

2005-10-21T14:12:00.000-04:00

senator digger just whispered this to me in my sleep:

"if you intend to walk across a sea of termites, do not wear wooden shoes."

for friday

2005-10-18T11:04:00.000-04:00

new assignment write from this man's outfit's POV. Sally mentioned, and I think I concur, that we need to get back in the swing of handing things in earlier, so people have more time with the work. Back to the friday deadline, even if it won't be respected. Not that this applies to me, because I'll be away, but I should still be writing.

minutes. monday. october 10, 2005.

2005-10-16T15:26:00.000-04:00

the evening began with a lengthy discussion of souvenir tee-shirts (always a thousand times too big and butt ugly), which turned into a discussion of christmas gifts and how much pain they can cause.

"i find that i create my best sea-walls in the morning," says a stranger to steveross.

"is that a saying? somebody killed the cat?" -SLS
"curiosity did." -SR

brain eno listening has been known to result in fancy syntax.

SR: ...all of the characters having a threesome.
SLS: that will be in the unrated DVD version.
SR: i won't write the play at all, just the extras.

"that's why teenagers are worthless ...they should all be sent to australia or something for that time period" -SR [we are all teen-haters here at NHWC]

"dear miss cat, i think you're tops. love, steve." -SR composing his postcard to misscat.

"jeremy's a jew. he's a tough guy. he does judo." -Beverly
"JEW-do!" -all

"duuuuuuude....i have sexy spit." -SR, after moistening a finger for the purpose of page turning

"those are some crazy pants, beth, i gotta say. i'm favoring them." -SR

"steveross is the cat whisperer." -B

visual to go with comments from prior post

2005-10-13T03:30:00.000-04:00

new post (scenes from the apple graveyard)

2005-10-12T15:33:00.000-04:00

this is my dream dog

NHWC: I want to write a poem or story called "scenes from the apple graveyard" but I keep freezing up. You want to do it as a faux exquisite corpse exercise here?

write a line in the comments section.

the new yorker

2005-10-11T16:39:00.000-04:00

As a subscriber to the new yorker, I would like to take this opportunity to point out that the fiction they publish, in general, sucks. I have read/attempted to read many weeks worth, and must say perhaps one of the the stories struck a chord with me. If we are doing the math, well: new yorker fiction=suck
stephenr fiction=does not suck (therefore) it only makes sense that they didn't take it.

The New Yorker

2005-10-10T17:14:00.000-04:00

We regret that we are unable to use the enclosed material. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider it.

The Editors

not even a "Dear Stephen," for the love of Jesus H.